


London Calling

by honeyedukes (honeyvioletmoon)



Series: Wolfstar Requests :) [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 1980s, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - 1980s, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - No Werewolves, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Gay, Gay Pride, Gay Rights, LGBT Pride, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Character of Color, LGBTQ Female Character, LGBTQ Female Character of Color, LGBTQ Themes, London, M/M, Pride, Pride Parade, Remus x Sirius, pride fest, pride march, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-04-15 03:27:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14150958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeyvioletmoon/pseuds/honeyedukes
Summary: anon asked: "Sirius and Remus going or meeting at a pride parade?"





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ive loved these boys for a long time but never felt good enough to write for them. i finally got an idea, but since i've never written wolfstar or for hp before, i took requests on tumblr to practice. this one got good responses so i thought i'd share it here :)
> 
> warnings for one slur used ironically
> 
> title is just because i listen to the clash while i wrote sirius and its my favorite song of theirs and i miss london

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> that sign is from a tube station near where i stayed in london.

By the time the noonday sun broke weakly through the London clouds as Remus turned the corner to get on the next train to Soho, he was feeling rather like backing out for the day. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go… And he wasn’t afraid, with everything else he’d been through in his life, a few bigots making appearances were the least of his worries. He shook his head as he passed the turnstile, pausing beside the old-fashioned tiled sign proclaiming TO TRAINS, inspecting himself in the warped reflection of an overhead reflector. He had a collared shirt beneath a grubby sweater, simple trousers rolled up at the cuff and some scuffed trainers with mismatched socks. Bugger, he knew he shouldn’t have gotten dressed so quickly after waking up, but he’d nearly overslept after revising well into the night. Who did he fancy himself? He looked like a bloody cross between some ridiculous mod with his poofy hair and a country bumpkin for godsakes! The hair was unruly because he’d neglected to trim his curls recently, and his fringe flopped into his eyes, but to the outside eye all he needed to complete the look was to ride in on some shining Vespa, he thought bitterly. Or maybe a tractor… much more in line with his simple roots. He’d only been in London for short time and he didn’t feel ready to go into all… that. 

His period of self-loathing was interrupted by a shabby looking man brushing him aside and checking him with one broad shoulder as he tried to get to the train. “Oi, piss off, you’re blocking the way!” He scoffed in a strong Northern accent, and Remus held up his hands in apology as he hurried after him into the nearest car just as the polite voice advised him to “Mind the Gap.” Too late now, he was on his way… might as well finish what he’d started. 

Arriving in Soho, he took one last second to fix the hem of his shirt, try to rub a scuff from the top of his shoe, comb his fingers through his hair, eyes wide at all the people he could hear beyond him in the park shouting things like “Gay is Good!” and “Out and Proud!”

“Alright, then, mate?” A soft voice asked, following by the clicking sound of a lighter. 

Remus jumped, whipping his head to the side of the alley, spotting the owner of the voice: a shorter man with long hair leaning against the bricks and cupping a cigarette between his fingers. “Of course. W-why wouldn’t I be?”

The man breathed out an amused chuckle, and some smoke, through his nostrils. “Your eyes… they’ve gone all ‘moony,’ like… You’re terrified.” 

Remus bristled, looking the lounging bloke over. Ripped jeans with so many holes they practically hung off him, one leg almost entirely exposed, a faded Buzzcocks tee shirt beneath a heavy looking leather jacket, the chain of what curiously looked like… a pocketwatch… trailing into the pocket of his trousers. His dark hair tumbled nearly to his shoulders, thick and luxurious. “I’m not! Of what? You’re the only person here, and do forgive me if I’m not wetting my pants at the sight of some wannabe punk rocker lurking about for a quick puff on a fag.”  _A wannabe punk with gorgeous eyes,_ his brain offered up as the man lifted his head, silver stare regarding Remus cooly.  

He exhaled a soft chuckle, before pushing off the wall with one heavy boot (God, was he really wearing  _Dr. Marten’s_  too?) and stepping closer. “So you  _aren’t_ standing out here trying to avoid going over into that bloody mass of poofters down that way?” He asked pointedly with a jerk of his head in the direction of the park. Remus grit his teeth. 

“Actually, I was just on my way to join them. Though I’m sure I could think of a good many more  _appropriate_ monikers if you’re strapped for one.” He shot back raising himself up to his full height and glaring down at the boy with a challenge. Something in his grey eyes flashed in a way that made Remus’ mouth dry before he broke out into a wide grin of- _of course_ \- dazzling white teeth. 

“Brilliant! Was just heading back out myself, in a crowd like that I’d’ve never been able to get a decent light. Got any mates with you, or would you like to join me and mine?” 

“Wh-what?  _You?_  You’re at the pride march?” Remus replied incredulously, narrowing his eyes. The man barked out a brusque, throaty laugh. Remus mentally cursed the beautiful sound, and himself, for being one he wanted to hear over and over again. 

“Yea, I’m there. Been going every summer since they started.” He said, holding up one of the lapels of his jacket, which Remus now saw sported a few colorful badges making proclamations such as: “Average Oscar Wilde,” “Assume Nothing,” a pink triangle, a safety pin with a beaded red and green ribbon, and strangely enough, “I’ve seen the pretty policeman’s balls.” “Though I’d have figured my shirt just screamed ‘Here I am: Sirius Black, Flaming Man-Lover.’” He added, gesturing with a smirk at the word “cock.” Remus actually rolled his eyes. 

“Pardon me if your fine attire didn’t immediately tip me off. Remus Lupin. And no, I came alone. Just moved to London.”

“Oi, you‘re one to talk! What, is that jumper some pining queer librarian mating call, then? Won’t attract too many blokes that way, mate.” This man,  _Sirius_ , shot back, before his fingers fumbled at his jacket, unclipping a badge and drifting over to Remus’ chest. He shrunk back for a minute before he relaxed and met Sirius’ eyes. The shorter man held his hands up, before gently reaching out to pin the badge against the brown wool of the sweater. 

“Hey now, just giving you a little bit more identifying accessorization. So you’ll blend in.” He whispered kindly, and Remus released the breath that had hitched in his throat. He locked gazes with Sirius, seeing his own amber eyes reflected in the punk’s metallic ones, a strong tug within his chest causing him to take a step closer. Suddenly coming to his senses, he shook his head and averted his eyes, spotting the badge near his collar, dark words on a white background reading, “Nobody knows I’m gay.” He chuckled lightly, before realizing his hands were pressing against Sirius’ chest and dropped his grip on the man’s shirt.

 Sirius arched one sleek brow at him but didn’t say anything about it, before slinging one arm around his shoulders. Remus’ mouth dropped open, but he promptly shut it, determined to go along with the antics of this, quite honestly, gorgeous man who already thought he was a wuss. Due to the height difference, that arm quickly slipped, torturously, around his waist instead. Heat rose to Lupin’s freckled cheeks. “Still don’t think your mod schoolboy outfit is going to win you the favor of any chaps, mate, Sure you don’t want to wear the jacket too?” Sirius teased, oblivious to Remus’ suffering, it seemed.  

“Seems to be working just fine to me.” He choked out, gold eyes dropping to the leather-clad limb encircling him. Sirius merely laughed again, tightening his grip for a moment before pulling them down the alleyway. 

“C’mon then, Lupey, our people await!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope it was clear that sirius used that word to try and suss out if remus was a homophobe about to disrupt the march due to his anxious behavior. probably would have punched him in the nose if remus had agreed with him; but remus got upset and told him off, which is why he was so pleased... remus was one of his.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a part two because i didnt feel done getting all my ideas down!!

Remus found himself shuffled back into the fray by the alluring man he’d met in the alley. His stomach lurched as they moved into the large crowd, Sirius slipping between the gaps and around people with the ease of wispy clouds drifting across the moon, and the long-haired boy slipped his hand from Remus’ waist into his own as they were forced to move single file through the throng. 

“Where are we going?” Lupin shouted at the leatherclad back over the din of chanting and laughing and singing and shouting people. 

“To find my friends, mate, they’re gonna love you!” Sirius called back, tossing a grin over his shoulder at him. He must have (correctly) interpreted Remus’ lack of response as a rush of anxiety, because he stopped in the middle of the street, turning around to face him. 

“Hey, alright there, Moons?” He asked softly, stepping forward as people milled about them to be heard. He just reached Remus’ collar, being a head shorter, and as he looked down into his pale face, smooth skin blotted here and there with the odd beauty mark, Lupin swallowed. One hand rested on Remus’ shoulder, the wool of his jumper bunching up beneath Sirius’ grasp, and the rings on his fingers. 

“Y-yea… I’m just, not great at meeting new people.”  _Or making friends_ , his traitorous brain supplied. “Wait,  _Moons_?”

Sirius’ cheeks seemed to almost color, but he laughed. “Oh. Yea… Moony… like what I said about your eyes when we met.” His free hand rubbed along the back of his neck beneath his curtain of dark hair. 

Remus bit back a giggle, rolling his eyes. “Are you really going to give someone named Wolf-Boy Wolf the nickname ‘Moony’? What will people say?” He mused with a soft smile, ducking his head. Sirius beamed up at him, about to reply when he was cut short by a brusque voice calling out,

“Probably that your new boyfriend’s got a werewolf fetish!” 

Sirius froze, and Remus jerked away from him. Why hadn’t he noticed how close they were standing before, their faces mere inches apart? Remus tugged his hand from Black’s grip, the latter’s hand dropping from his shoulder when he moved. Someone else hooted. 

“I swear to god, Meadowes, I’ll kill you where you stand!” Sirius shot back, turning around to flip her the V. “You KNOW I’m sensitive about my lycanthropic preference in the bedroom!” 

He was already smirking as Remus lifted his head to see a girl standing before them in a pair of light jeans, the tops of her brown knees peaking through and heeled boots he didn’t know how she was walking these streets in. Her close-cropped hair, fringe styled to poof out in front of her eyes, was curly and dark as well, and she had on a violet colored tee shirt tucked into her waistband with cutoff sleeves proclaiming her a “LAVENDER MENACE.” Beside her, one arm around her shoulders, one hand drumming blue varnished nails on her bicep, the older wrapped around the stick for a large sign, was a taller girl with long blonde hair. Her floral dress ended just above her knee, revealing jellies on her feet. Her freckled nose crinkled as she smiled at them and whooped again. Remus noticed the sign read,  _“Gay Love, it’s the Real Thing”_  in the Coca-Cola font. 

Sirius swept out one hand. “Remus, these are… Or were,” He rectified, narrowing his eyes at them. “My friends. Blondie here is Mcknickers-”

“ _Marlene_. Mc-Kinn-on.” She interjected. 

 “-And the spunky one is Dorcas. Girls, this is Remus. We met in the alley back that way, and he’ll be joining us for the duration of this lovely parade. And, he’s not my boyfriend, unless he’d like to argue otherwise.” Sirius peered back over his shoulder with a leering grin. Remus’ brows shot upwards, and Sirius laughed again, tossing him a wink. “Well, that settles that. Come on then, give us an update, Mcknickers, spot any fit blokes for you old chum Sirius in this lot yet?” 

Marlene huffed a sigh, throwing her hand against her forehead. “Alas, my dear friend, every man I’ve tried to chat up in your favor has been much too off-put by the idea of a faux punk rocker galavanting about in a leather jacket, unable even to ride the metal deathtrap rusting in his garage! Whatever shall you do!”

Sirius scoffed. “Oi, I’ll be able to ride it once I get those replacement parts, thanks very much! I am entirely qualified to wear this jacket since I embraced my inner rock god and the punk lifestyle.” 

Dorcas cackled at him as she gestured for them to continue walking with the flow of the crowd. “Yea, okay, but qualified or not, it still makes you look a right plonker.” Marlene barked out a loud  _Ha_! and smacked a kiss to the other girl’s cheek. Sirius sniffed in distaste, shaking his head. 

“Don’t listen to ‘em, Moony. They’re just jealous because they’ll never look as sexy as me in leather.” the boy grumbled, crossing his arms. He faced Remus, only to find him trying to hide his own mirth at what the girls had said. He reared back with a disgruntled cry. “Not you too, Remus! For shame! After I rescued you from not attending AND properly outfitted you for the occasion!”

Remus grinned. “Oh, sorry, thought I was to play nice with your friends. I wouldn’t want to offend the ladies with any contradictions.” Dorcas’ smiled broadened. 

“I like him.” She stated, as Remus’ eyes scanned over the large crowd of people, everyone marching and having a good time and refusing to be anything other than who they were. He couldn’t stop smiling. He couldn’t believe he was here; he’d done it. Remus Lupin, not even out to a single soul back home, was here in the middle of the London Pride March with Sirius Black, apparent part-time gay Adonis. He was here, and he wasn’t alone. Remus fell in step with the boy, bumping their hips together and feeling something soft flutter in his chest when Sirius raised those mist-colored eyes to him, beaming. 

“Hey.” He murmured, resting his arm on Sirius’ shoulders in a one-armed embrace. “Thank you for this. You were right about my second thoughts. But I’m really glad I met you all. And I’m very happy I came.” The corners of his mouth twitched as Sirius’ smile grew impossibly wider, and as he pulled Remus to him in a sudden hug, broke out into a grin that could not be contained. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first chapter: sirius and remus are so drawn to one another that they stand super close, remus' hands end up on sirius' chest, sirius puts his arm around him even though theyve known each other like five seconds
> 
> second chapter: haha thats :) cute :) sIRIUS AND REMUS HOLD HANDS, STAND SO CLOSE THEYRE BASICALLY ABOUT TO KISS, GET CALLED BOYFRIENDS, HUG ONE ANOTHER ALL AFTER LIKE 20 MINUTES AMAZING
> 
> its just so softe ;-;
> 
> im lowkey considering a chapter three where something actually happens


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this was supposed to be a third and final chapter for starstruck4moony but thennnnnnn it became this and its gonna need a four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haaaaaaaaaaaaa the angst!!!!
> 
> this really went off the rails my plan was just spin the bottle lmao
> 
> how many times can i use snog in one chapter challenge
> 
> proof i still dont understand the complex nuances of 'innit' i need to go back to england

As the last of the parade goers wandered off and said their goodbyes, Sirius tousled Remus' hair and announced that he was hungry.

 

"What do you reckon, Moony? Fancy a bite with ol' Sirius and the girls?"

 

Remus' heartbeat a bit faster, but he pretended to ponder it over a moment."Suppose I could eat. I am craving chocolate." He admitted with a shy smile, ducking his chin. Now Sirius' heart kicked up.

 

"Right then. I know just the spot." He eyed a payphone outside of a petrol station. "I'm going to duck out and call a friend. Well, he's more like my brother. See if he wants to join. Back in a mo'!" He jogged off and Remus gathered Dorcas and her girlfriend, who was trailing the sign behind her tiredly and cheered at the proposed nourishment. Sirius walked them down to an American style diner crammed in beside three or four seedy pubs. They slid into a large booth in the back corner, Sirius smushed up against Remus without even thinking, as though it were the most natural thing in the world. He shifted his weight so that his shoulder was pressed against Remus', who was starting to believe that maybe it was.

 

"Budge over." Marlene said as she threw a cheeky glance at Sirius. "I wanna sit next to your boooooooyfriend." An hour ago, Remus would have turned red on the spot and leapt up from the table, stammering excuses and protestations, but now his eyes darted over to Sirius' unimpressed expression and then back to the girl's as he tossed an arm around the back of the vinyl lacquered seating and across Black's shoulders, before scooting them both down. Then he smirked, one corner of his freckled mouth turning up. "There's room, why don't you get closer, McKnickers."

 

Even Dorcas looked impressed as their mouths all dropped open. Remus settled back in his seat with a self satisfied grin just as a tallish boy with unruly dark hair and the thickest set of black frames Lupin had ever seen loped up to their table, with a tiny red headed girl in tow. "What are you lot doing gapping with your mouths open like fish?" He asked, fighting a laugh, before throwing himself down on Sirius' other side and picking up the menu. As the girl examined their choices, he peered at them from the top of the laminated cardboard. "Alright then, lads? How was your... event?"

 

Marlene scoffed, while Dorcas flipped him two V's. "Lads!" She cried in outrage. "Last I checked, you know, I weren't no lad!"

 

Marlene's face shifted into a bemused smile as she innocently sipped at her glass of water. "Last I checked, too." James' eyes went wide and his face reddened. Dorcas and Sirius both dissolved into uproarious laughter and even Remus chuckled at the group's friendly teasing.

 

"Alright, alright! That's enough, ladies!" The tiny girl spoke for the first time, and her voice was much stronger than Remus had been expecting. "Don't break poor James' heart by reminding him about the night life he's missing out on! He can't bear it, you know how sensitive he gets."

 

James rolled his eyes and shoved her good naturedly with a gentle hand. "Piss off, Evans." He said all smarmy, before ducking his head to kiss her once, then twice, then long enough that the rest of their friends began to cheer or jeer.

 

"Come on, mate, you've already got one in the oven!" Sirius called out and they finally broke apart as a waitress took their orders.

 

Remus turned to him. "Is she really pregnant?" He whispered and Sirius broke into a wide smile. "Yep. Eight months along in a week or so, not that you'd know it. It's like she uses magic to hide it, or something."

 

"But it's not magic, Sirius, it's just clever layering of clothing and never letting anyone stare for too long. Not that I'm ashamed, of course." She cut in, rolling her eyes at Black and fixing him with a sharp stare.

 

"Congratulations, er..." Remus began.

 

"Lily." She offered her petite fingers to him across the table to shake with a new bright smile. "Pleasure to meet you.."

 

"Remus. Remus Lupin."

 

"Pleasure, Remus. And thanks. We couldn't be more excited."

 

"Or surprised." James added. "God, you never think it'll happen to you... One time you forget and now you're awaiting a sprog." His eyes shone, and he kissed Lily again, on the top of her head.

 

She turned back to Remus. "Not going to ask why I'm near to pop and out and about, then?" She began, but Remus waved a hand.

 

"Think you can trust your own judgement. And I'd bet that you aren't the type to let anything stop you." He replied easily, leveling her stare with a kind smile. Her grin broadened and she leaned over James to punch Sirius' shoulder.

 

"Oh, I approve." She stalled and placed a hand to her stomach with a dignified wince. "Baby does too."

 

Sirius mimed wiping away tears and blowing his nose loudly into James' discarded jean jacket. "I'm gonna be an uncle." He blubbered, clutching Remus' arm as though in hysteria. They all laughed, then were distracted by the food arriving.

 

"God, what is wrong with the Americans! And can I grow up to be just like them?" James had crowed upon seeing the wide array of fried foods they'd ordered. Nobody noticed that Sirius didn't take his hand off Lupin's arm, or that Remus slid his own over it to keep it there.

 

~

Once everyone had finished, forcing down the last burnt chip at the bottom of the basket (Marlene) or loudly slurping the final sip of a milkshake (Sirius), they all elected to go round someone's house and "get blitzed," as Dorcas put it. The debate lasted a while, Remus listening the whole time without much input seeing as he was basically a stranger to them all, and he lived in a bad part of the city in a shite little flat he wasn't too keen to have people over to. Dorcas and Marlene had crazy housemates, Lily lived back home in Cokeworth and was only staying with James until they could move into a house of their own outside of London, James had somehow forgotten the keys to his flat and someone called Pete wasn't answering the phone, leaving him fuming about the ten pence he'd lost to a phone booth, and Sirius was currently sleeping on James' sofa, so they were running out of options quickly. Marlene and Dorcas returned from the drugstore in Piccadilly square, where they were currently stopped, and waved the brown bag at the rest of them.

 

"Come on then, whiskey's getting cold!"

 

Sirius raked a hand through his hair with a groan. "Alright, alright, I've a shitty idea."

 

"So one of your usual ideas then?" James quipped, raising an eyebrow. Sirius smacked him on the backside of his head. James stuck his tongue out at him, then Lily smacked him again and chided him for acting like a tiddler when his unborn child was around. James lovingly placed a hand on her abdomen and cooed apologies at her belly button.

 

Sirius' face twisted in a grimace for a split second, and James was suddenly at his side and not laughing any longer. They all circled around him as he stared down at his boots. Hating to just stand there idly, Remus stepped forward and pressed his fingers into Sirius' hand. He squeezed back and finally spoke.

 

"We could go to the ol- my house... No one's there since my mother died, and it's technically mine... I've just been avoiding going over there."

 

James balked at him. "Ta, mate, but you don't have to go back there if it's too much." Remus frowned. What had happened at the place that Sirius would rather stay on a sofa at James' with three other people than go there?

 

Sirius shrugged, all smiles as though his minute of panic had never happened. "Nah, it's just sitting there anyhow. Might as well use it to keep our drunken arses out of the cold." With that he stepped forward with a dramatic thunk of his boots on the pavement, and began to lead the way. James and Lily had actually driven in her car, so they all piled in for the ride to the Black home. Remus gave Marlene the other seat, but they protested when he tried to curl up at their feet, so he ended up half on her lap and half on Sirius'. He very awkwardly attempted to at least angle most of his bottom away from the girl, as she probably didn't want to be crushed under a lanky male behind, and because to his chagrin, Sirius probably wanted exactly that. He tried not to think about it too much, focusing on the strains of the Clash trailing in from the radio.

 

Sirius' house was grand. It was sandwiched between two other very large and posh estates on a street that was completely clear of any refuse and not a spot of graffiti to be seen. When he unlocked the door and led them inside, the interior was a different story. Cobwebs darkened the gloomy corners of every corridor, complimenting the peeling gold wallpaper and cream paint flaking off of the banister. The heavy brocade curtains all wheezed a layer of dust when Sirius threw them open to let in some air through the windows, some of which sported cracked or missing panes. The ancient floor creaked as they gingerly tiptoed around in observation. Ghoulish hunting trophies and lifelike oil paintings of harrowing and stern figures followed their every move. Out of the corner of his eye, Remus saw Lily shiver.

 

"Well, here's home. Cozy, isn't it?" Sirius preened, smacking a switch hanging out of the wall to bring light flickering in from an ornate brass chandelier overhead.

 

"Right..." Remus replied, attention turned to the large black cloth draped over a heavy gilt frame, now illuminated.

 

"That's dear old Mum." Sirius told him with false adoration and just a hint of bitterness. "Keep her covered up so that I don't have to feel her judgement whenever I come by to pay the caretaker's wages."

 

Sirius could afford to hire a caretaker who didn't seem to even do his job, and yet he slept in James' living room? "There's a caretaker?"

 

"Well, no, not really. I keep changing the locks on him so he can't get in, but he usually finds a way. Like magic, it is. Cor, I'd bet he's here even now, creepy bugger he is." Sirius chuckled, before a loud scream sent both men racing into the kitchen.

 

"What the bloody hell!" Remus exclaimed, as they found James, pale as a sheet and clutching the space between the wall and the ice box, across from a squat old man bent onto the floor surrounded by piles of silverwear.

 

"Pansy here be scared o' old men." He grumped, mouth twisting into a sneer as he gestured with a delicate wrist and his polishing cloth as though it were a ladies handkerchief. Then he shrieked in a high falsetto, "Gave me a fright sir, Ohhh!" and swooned.

 

James scowled, and Sirius moved to haul him up from his spot, kicking over a pile of incredibly tarnished spoons. "Mr. Kreacher, get the hell out of my house before I call the police. I took your last key."

 

The Kreacher fellow jerked out of his grasp. "Bah! What a waste it is in your hands, too! Look at how you keep the place. Look what you've done to the family silverware!"

 

"Do not make me ask again. Take this and leave us." Sirius pushed a crumpled twenty into his hands. The bitter caretaker nearly growled at them as he slunk out the door.

 

~

 

"Well, that effectively removed me of ten years of my life." James announced briskly, clapping his hands together as Marlene and Remus walked about lighting candles with Sirius' silver lighter and a book of matches. They were holed up in the basement, one of the only places Sirius could stand to be in, and therefore one of the cleanest.

 

They'd laid a few small and threadbare blankets on the ground, yet Marlene and Dorcas still huddled together for warmth. "Freezing my bollocks off here, thanks, Siri, darling." Dorcas groused, and her scowl deepened when James shot back, "I thought you didn't have any bollocks Dori, dearest."

 

"Then why aren't we drinking?" He replied, twisting the cap off the bottle, their second one as they'd shared the first between the four of them on the walk and ride over, and something much more fancy than their pharmacy score from the Black cellars, with a roll of his eyes. He fixed the short haired girl with a sarcastic smirk; he knew she was mostly being dramatic, seeing as it was summer and just under 18°. She stuck her tongue out at him.

 

"Oi, save that for Marlene!" He jeered as she shoved at him, and Marlene, hearing her name and Sirius' voice called out, "Wanker!" without even looking up from the long shaft of the candle she was lighting. Sirius shrugged and set the first bottle on the stone floor with a clink and a devious glint in his silver eyes.

 

Remus chuckled, then looked to Lily, sitting against one wall, James' jacket tucked behind her back. "There a history I'm missing here?"

 

Lily smiled then arched an eyebrow at the pair. "Oh them? Marlene was Sirius' first kiss in year four. Played seven minutes in Heaven. I know, much more mature than spin the bottle." She joked. Remus laughed again. "Then they dated for about two weeks. Lot of snogging, those two. Then someone accused him of being her beard and she went off on them. Somehow the shouting match turned into an invitation to dinner to prove she really liked her man. Guess who the accuser was?" She deadpanned, eyes settling on Meadowes, still harassing Sirius.

 

Said "wanker" was rubbing his hands together and beckoning Remus over. "Gather round, ducks, and give us a spin. Who's first then, Evans, are you game?"

 

Lily, unmoving from her somewhat more comfortable spot, shook her head with a wry smile. "God, no. I kissed enough of you lot when we were 15." The rest of the group began to cahjole her, even Remus calling out, "Come on,  _Evans_. " and throwing a wink in her direction.

 

"Oh alright!" She conceded, shooing off James, who was still at her side. "Be a dear and spin for me."

 

The bottle whirled clunkily around for a few moments before its head settled between Sirius' feet.

 

"Oooo!" Marlene giggled. "You've got to kiss Lils, Sirius."

 

"With pleasure." Sirius said, pretending to fan himself with an exaggerated lick of his lips. Remus watched his tongue swipe out from behind his teeth.

 

"Ohh no!" Lily protested, pointing a finger to James. "He spun  _ for  _ me. He's the one who's got to snog you." James and Sirius pulled the exact same look of disgust, staring at each other, aghast.

 

"That's bloody incest, Evans, and as the mother of our child your suggesting it quite disturbs and concerns me!" James cried.

 

Sirius wrinkled his nose haughtily. "I shan't be kissing...  _That._ "  The rest of them laughed and said they had to, rules were rules, it weren't personal, innit? With a sigh, James trudged forward, eyeing Sirius apprehensively. At the last moment a grin quirked at the corners of his mouth and he grabbed Sirius' by the back of his head, hurdling him forward to smash his lips... against his forehead with a loud smack. His glasses smushed up against his hairline, the both of them drew away laughing.

 

"Mate, I didn't know you loved me that much." Sirius told him, false shock coloring his tone.

 

"'Course I love you, arsehole!" James chirruped over his shoulder as he placed his glasses back onto his nose and crossed back over to Lily. The next few spins of the bottle saw Remus peck a slightly stunned James Potter on the lips, Dorcas kissing Sirius full on the mouth, and quite a bit of snogging from Marlene and her girlfriend, who were cheating and placing their feet in the bottle's trajectory. Eventually, and without any sapphic intervention, one quick flick of the wrist of Sirius Black pointed the bottle directly across at Remus, whose cheeks pinked only a little... from the alcohol, of course. He looked up at Sirius with a sort of blank expression that was equal parts hesitant and  _ Well, try it, then...  _ and rose to his feet only to find Black still firmly planted on the floor.

 

"No." He said, with a careless shrug of his shoulders.

 

"No?" Remus repeated, halting in his tracks. His stomach dropped.

 

Sirius shook his head, tossing his hair out of his eyes, which were hard.  _"No."_   He intoned again, with a certain finality that declined any further explanation. "Won't do it."

 

"Oh." Remus said, still a bit confused, though on his way to being angry, and hurt. "Right, then." He resumed his seat, legs crossed, holding his own elbows. At this point Marlene was half asleep in Dorcas' lap, Dorcas herself being a giggling mess. He couldn't understand what he'd read wrong


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i have never once in my life ridden a motorbike so

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW another chapter????????????? YES!
> 
> again written on the bus so sorry if its shiiiiiiiiiiite
> 
> ALSO WARNINGS BC THIS GOT DEEP REAL QUICK SO BEWARE OF PERIOD TYPICAL HOMOPHOBIA AND MENTIONS OF ABUSE 
> 
> me????? projecting my own angst onto fictional characters???? haahahaha whatever....do you mean.......

"Ok, lads, let's get you home." James announced into the awkward silence punctuated only by Meadowes' oblivious laughter and the dying flickers of what candles still remained. He hadn't drunk one drop, horrified at the thought of driving Lily and their baby home even slightly intoxicated, and he was still the one with the car. Lily had gone upstairs some time earlier to lay down in Sirius' old bedroom, threats to wallop any of them who dared to suggest she couldn't handle slumming in a gloomy basement like any other teen unspoken, so he gathered both girls under either arm and began their slow ascent up to collect his fiancée.    
  
  
  
"Coming, Moony?" James called back to him, and the nickname, which they'd all somewhat adopted over the course of the night, made his throat burn even more than Sirius' expensive whiskey. Before he could reply, Sirius was on his feet.    
  
  
  
"Nah, I'll take him home, Jamie." That had Remus on his feet too, arms crossed tightly over his heaving chest.    
  
  
  
"And if I want to go  _ now _ ?" He demanded. Sirius flinched, and looked at him with heavy eyes.    
  
  
  
"I'm not your keeper, Moons." And he gestured towards the stairs, stepping aside to give him free access. Remus started up them, but they were rather narrow, and he paused before the stair Sirius stood upon, leaning against the rustic banister, delaying the inevitable squeeze past him. His foot had barely touched the wood before Sirius’ fingers were clenching around his wrist. 

 

“Don’t.” His voice sounded small, and at his touch, Remus went rigid. 

 

“And why not?” Lupin huffed, whirling on him, a hand tearing through his wavy locks. “What is it? God, Sirius, have I been seeing things wrong this whole time? Because you know… I really thought, what with all the flirting and winking and fucking holding onto me the entire time at the restaurant that maybe you felt something between us… And now, you’re-”

 

“But that’s just it, Remus!” Sirius’ voice was raised as well. His shout echoed down into the empty cavern of the basement. “That’s all it’s been since we first met! Trivial flirting, false pretenses, party games to throw us together, this growing sense of urgency to get together and get it good and done and I’m sick of it! I don’t want to rush this!” His voice fell. “But that’s the thing, isn’t it? About people like us… We have to act quickly. Like there’s a war on, like we could die at any moment. Hell, we fucking could die at any moment! We don’t get to go on first dates at any lodging of our choosing, we can’t stop on any corner to kiss in the street. If my parents were alive, I could never bring you home to meet them. We won’t get engaged like other people… We can’t accidentally get knocked up with a kid. Everything happens so quickly… I’m sorry, Moony. I shouldn’t have embarrassed you like that in front of my friends. But I wanted to do things right, for once, and I knew I couldn’t… And I like you, a bloody fucking lot, mate, so I thought… Best not to- to do it at all.” 

 

“Sirius…” He looked so deflated. Gone were all his cocky mannerisms and that devilish smile that reached all the way to his eyes. This, this horrible choice, rejection of their only option was, to him in this moment, the one thing he could control. For the first time, Remus realized how young he really was. He turned to face him, their chests nearly touching as they both tried to stay atop the same stair. One hand twisted out of Black’s grasp and entwined their fingers, the other moved to press against his cheek. Sirius heaved a shuddering sigh between his barely parted lips, eyes shut. Remus stayed that way for a moment, just holding him. 

 

“I don’t even really know you, Moony…” He sniffed, face twisting into an incredibly ashamed disfiguration.

 

“But you’d like to.” His fingers moved from his pale cheek to smooth against his furrowed brow. “That’s enough for me, Sirius.”

 

“Not enough.”

 

“Then it’s a  _ start.  _ Let’s start somewhere, Sirius. I promise you, running away from it isn’t the way to make things better. I- that’s why I moved here. Something happened back home, and I couldn’t face it. My parents tried, but I wouldn’t even let them because I was too afraid of what would happen if they couldn’t. The one time… I try to be open about who I am, I’m too frightened and this unfairly beautiful punkish thug starts hassling me, thinking I’m a homophobe, and then I think he really likes me… Then he acts like he’d rather spill hot wax onto his hand than kiss me during a primary school game.” 

 

Sirius laughed a bit at that. “With a whiskey bottle? What sort of primary school did you attend, Moony? Are they still accepting applications for the fall?” Remus snorted, dropping his head onto Sirius’ shoulder. 

 

“Please, tell me I’ve done the right thing for once.” 

 

“Remus?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“It won’t be like with your parents. I mean, we’ll have to be careful sometimes… We won’t ever get to be like James and Lily, but… We could be good, still, couldn’t we? Or, we could try…” 

 

“Yea, we could. We could. Just, next time why not trying talking to me and asking to slow down instead of bouncing off the walls, eh?” Remus asked, drawing back to look at him. His eyes roamed over each mark dotting Sirius’ smooth, chiseled face, the long lashes fanning out over his cheeks, the slightly crooked bend to his nose (likely from some fight during his school days). 

 

Sirius shut his eyes again, exhaling through his nostrils. “Goddammit! It’s this house, man, I’m sorry! I thought I could handle it, but it’s driving me mad. Look at me, screaming at a gorgeous man in my house, who’s comforting me, being understanding, holding my hand.” 

 

“You’re not screaming anymore.” Remus pointed out sympathetically. He paused. “Sirius- What happened to you here?” 

 

The other man grimaced. “What didn’t, is more like.” Sirius mumbled. Remus squeezed his hand. 

 

“If it’s too much, you don’t have to tell me. I was only trying to understand.”

 

“Well, let’s just say my family is very old, very well to do, and quite aristocratic about it all. And they never really cared for me or my type growing up… Which was unfortunate, as I was the oldest son.” He broke off for a moment, and Remus moved down a step so that they were eye level, holding Sirius’ hands against his chest. “They threw me out when I was 16. No, don’t look so  _ wounded,  _ Moony, it was the best possible thing they could have done for me. I’d been planning to leave anyways. Really, it was my decision. I went to James, his family took me in until I finished school. My uncle died, and he left me everything. I got by. By that time my father had died, and- and my brother too.” Sirius’ voice was barely a whisper. “He killed himself, Remus. And then my mother died, they say of a broken heart. But they didn’t find her will, so the house went to me.”

 

“But you never come here?” Remus asked calmly, though he moved to thumb away a tear brimming against Sirius’ lashes. 

 

Sirius shook his head, pressing into Lupin’s hand. “Can’t bear to most days. Everywhere I look I see rooms they forbid me to enter, objects they forbid me to touch… Places where I was punished when I broke those rules as a child wanting to play. By that painting, where I received my first beating,” Remus’ heart was pounding. “By that armchair where I covered for my brother and got the second of many. My old room, where I was like a prisoner most days… His old room, the door slammed in my face being the last I ever saw of him.” He inhaled a shaky breath and wiped his eyes. “Oh my god, I can’t believe I just told you that… I’m crying in front of you of all things when I’ve just made you upset.” 

 

Remus drew him closer, speaking sternly. “Sirius, I couldn’t give one damn about that right now. Christ, no wonder James didn’t want us to come here…”

 

“I just thought… If I suggested it, I could act like- Fuck, I just wanted to be normal!” Sirius cried, smothering himself against Remus’ chest. “I wanted to be a normal bloke messing around with my friends in a shady old house, get drunk like everyone else does, and kiss someone I really like without it being a big deal but here I am whining on and on and crying about it!” 

 

Remus mulled it over for a moment, silently. “Sometimes… It has to be a big deal. When you’ve experienced impactful things. That thing that… happened to me. My parents wanted to play at everything returning to regular, they tried their best to seem unaffected. But they’d changed… And so had I. But not in the way they would have assumed. Now my mum’s gone, and I haven’t seen my father in months. My mother died not knowing me. I ran away before they could find  _ out  _ about me. I figured I could start over where nobody knew me, and they’d never get to know who I really was inside… But some things are a big deal. And as much as we’d like to live someone else’s life, with someone else’s ease, we have to face it. But that’s the thing… Usually, no one’s life is as easy as it seems. We’re all going through it, Sirius. But all that means is we don’t have to go it alone.” 

 

Sirius tipped his head up to stare at Remus. “Who are you, and where’s the nervous boy I met this morning gone?” He breathed in awe. Remus ducked his head and blushed, before holding Sirius’ gaze, unwavering. 

 

“They’re both me, Sirius. I’ve been both of them all along. But for the record, ‘me’ is someone who really likes you too.” Then Sirius’ cheeks tinged pink, though he quickly wiped his eyes again and looked down, hiding behind his curtain of inky tangles. “C’mon, let’s get out of here.”

 

~

 

Sirius led Remus back up the stairs and through the house, now dark, James having shut off most of the working lights when he’d left, by the hand, and though neither of them spoke, the companionable silence surrounding them only tied them closer. 

 

“The garage?” Remus questioned as he stared down the stair into the blackness and musty air. Sirius nodded, flicking on the light switch and tossing a round object to him. Remus gaped at the gleaming metallic, smoothly curved, in his hands. A helmet? Then his eyes strayed to the brilliantly polished  _ Velocette  _ stood against a rack of junk and his eyes bulged. 

 

“The girls said this was a rust bucket that didn’t work!” He said accusingly, jabbing a finger into Sirius’ chest. Jesus, was he ever fit, Remus grumbled mentally. Sirius wore a ghost of his usually brimming self satisfied grin, and Remus’ lungs finally released after seeing him so dismayed earlier. 

 

“Yea, they say a lot of things, Moony… The  _ Viper’s  _ been restored for ages. Fully finished myself, she was. It didn’t cost too much for the parts or the touch ups, especially with my Uncle’s spending money to get me by… Took a while to teach myself the mechanics but I figured I ought to know how to keep her since I’ll be riding her often now. I’ve been keeping her a secret… She’s more special that way. Plus, Marlene bet James I wouldn’t have it working before the year was out. ” He explained, completely chuffed. 

 

“But if the year’s up, won’t he lose?”

 

Sirius winked at him, tapping the side of his forehead. “Precisely. He’s rich and shouldn’t have entertained her doubt in the first place.”

 

“Ah. Well. Good on Marlene, then. Wait… James is rich? The teenager that just left?” 

 

Sirius nodded sagely, before smiling a bit wider. “Yea, his dad was this entrepreneur type. Made this hair goo that had all the salons raving in the 50s and 60s. Absolute legend, he was, Fleamont Potter.” He said, nostalgically. Remus noted the past tense and assumed that's why James had all the money. 

 

“Fleamont?” Remus tried to hold back a small chuckle.

 

“Oi, alright, it's not like  _ you  _ get to be the judge of odd and unique names, Moony!” Sirius chastised him, but quickly switched gears as his face turned mischievous. “But it is also James’ middle name, poor tosser.” They both share a laugh at that. 

 

Remus turned to admire the bike again. “This is brilliant, Sirius.” 

 

“Well, come on then, helmet on! I said I’d take you home, didn’t I?” 

 

“Ah, yes, your clever excuse to come round to mine, no doubt.” Sirius chuckled distractly, moving to brush some dust off of the bike’s leather seat. Remus stepped closer behind him, transfixed by its glittering chromework and lacquered paint. Sirius moved quietly, not turning around, as though careful to even breath upon it, even seeming hesitant about his earlier promise of transportation. 

 

“Go on… Don’t tiptoe around her on my account, or I’ll have to start calling you something ridiculous like… Padding Foot.” 

 

Sirius abruptly faced him, lips pursed. “You will not!”

 

Remus’ lips curved into a sly smile. “Why, Padding Foot, I’m only being fair.”

 

“Moony!”

 

“Yes, Paddy, dear?”

 

“Remus, honestly.” 

 

“ _ Sirius _ , seriously.” 

 

“No.”

 

“Accept it.” 

 

“It’s stupid!”

 

“So was Moony.”

 

“Padfoot for short?” Sirius bargained. 

 

Remus considered that, begrudgingly. “Even better.” 

 

“I’m beginning to regret liking you.” 

 

Remus haphazardly shoved his helmet on and swung one leg over the bike, straddling its seat. Sirius muffled a growl low in his throat. “No you aren’t.” He quipped, voice muffled by the gear as he fit it on. Sirius snatched his own helmet from a tabletop and shrugged his jacket over his shoulders. It was going to be a long ride. 

 

Despite literally everything they'd just gone through, a bit of nervousness still fluttered in his stomach when Remus’ arms encircled Sirius’ waist. Sirius’ band tee was rather… well loved, meaning he could actually  _ feel  _ the muscles in Sirius’ abdomen flex through the thinning fabric as he shifted his weight to turn or adjusted his position at the handlebars. Still, he crossed the streets, and cut through back alleys, nearly empty at this hour of the night, like some speed demon, so Remus was left gripping him tightly just to stay on. The entire day, and the night’s alcohol, finally caught up to him, leaving Lupin just a hint sluggish and sleepy. He rested his cheek against Sirius’ back, enjoying the heat radiating off his jacket as the crisp wind tousled his hair and slapped against his face. London all of bright lights and shadow, the city swept past them until they slowed to a crawl outside the address he’d instructed Black to. 

 

Remus sat up when Sirius twisted back to observe him, rolling his neck and rubbing with one fist at his right eye. When he stopped, he opened both to find Sirius still watching him. 

 

“Alright, Moony?” 

 

Remus nodded, once. “Alright, Pads.” 

 

Sirius’ silver gaze roamed over his face, eyes tracing the path from freckle to freckle, settling on the minute brown spot dotting his upper lip like the finale to some adult version of connect the dots. The kind you played when you wanted badly, loved quickly, and fell, finally, hard and forever. Sirius’ thumb darted out to brush across it, Remus’ eyes fluttering closed, and when the pad of his finger pressed against his bottom lip, he shivered. His touch was permanent, lasting when he drew his hand away. 

 

“Sirius.” He whispered, the word stolen away as the wind whipped around them. 

 

“Remus.” He replied. Lupin nearly shivered again at how low his voice had become. 

 

“I know you said you didn't want to rush this…” Remus murmured, drawing his words out. His hands twisted in the hem of his sweater. Sirius wished he’d put them back against him, maybe even slip them under his shirt.  _ Dammit, no!  _ “But if I don't do this now, I will  _ verifiably  _ die.” 

 

“Ah ah.” He protested, holding up one hand. “As the resident Tragic Rebel, I call dibs on dying first.” He leaned back, and Remus could see each particular shade of grey within his eyes. His hand slid across Remus’ arm, where it rested against the seat between them. Remus’ breath caught. “What are you  _ dying _ to do, Moony?” 

 

The hand moved under his jaw as Remus gravitated nearer. Sirius’ eyes contained flecks of the palest blue. Remus turned his face, lips lightly touching Sirius’ palm. A strangled noise stuck in Black’s throat. He was still turned around, his body curved towards Remus, who put both hands on his hips to steady him, then bridged the last inch of space between their faces. 

 

“Kiss you, of course.” And he pulled Sirius towards him. Melding into one, Remus brought their lips together again and again. Their faces were wind chapped, and cold, but Sirius’ mouth stayed nothing but warm. They both tasted like finely aged whiskey, smoky and spicy and sweet. When they eventually broke apart, Remus tucked his face against the back of Sirius’ neck, whose fingers lifted to touch his lips almost reverently. Lupin stayed like that for a good minute, lazily breathing him in. Sirius’ hair smelled like vanilla and his clothing faintly of cigarettes. 

 

“Are you tired, then?” Sirius asked him, and Remus lifted his head. 

 

His amber eyes flashed. They were so close, both of them still only half standing in order to balance the bike between their legs. “Am I  _ too _ tired, you mean?” 

 

Sirius swallowed thickly. “Too tired for…?” 

 

“For  _ you  _ to join me, of course. Upstairs… I mean. We won't rush into anything,” He added hastily. “Just- Rather cold out for necking.” He shrugged. 

 

Remus wanted him to come  _ inside  _ to do that  _ again. A lot, again.  _ Sirius breathed out all the air in his lungs, probably. “Oh. Well, if you're offering…” he said, with an air of casualty he didn't feel, pushing one hand through his helmet mussed hair. 

 

Remus finally broke their intense stare, stepping off the bike and walking around front to give Sirius his hand. “I’m offering.” He said, and then he smiled. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YEA THEY FINALLY KISS AND ITS SHITTILY WRITTEN COMPARED TO THE REST OF THE CHAPTER KEEP SCROLLIN
> 
> dare i ask if i should add a chapter five? lmao mayhaps not this was SUPPOSED to be the end

**Author's Note:**

> [say hi <3](https://honeyedukes.tumblr.com/)
> 
> (pics for all character outfits and inspiration, as well as references for the pins and signs can be found [here](https://wolfamongstars.tumblr.com/post/172396462170/wolfamongstars-wolfamongstars) )


End file.
